The Twelve Days of Christmas Newsie Style!
by Queen Kez the Wicked
Summary: One the first day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me... Title speaks for itself, doesn't it? Be afraid. Be very afraid. Not too afraid to read and review though.


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The Twelve Days of Christmas

Written by Keza, sung by various authors

AN: Most of the inserts here are based on people I know at least _fairly_ well, and then some of the people are in NHS, so I had their profiles handy. -cackles- So don't feel left out! You're in the caroling group. You just don't have a solo. -beams-

Oh, when you think of "yipee!" think of "woo!" and it'll all fit nicely.

SCENE: (Keza and various Newsie fandom authors stand outside the door to a mansion. Keza looks around, blows on her hands, and steps up to ring the bell. A maid answers.)

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MAID: Oh! Carolers! Let me go and fetch the children…

(A few minutes later the maid reappears with a few little kids as well as the obvious parents of the house and a few of their friends. Apparently there is a party going on. The gathered crowd waits expectantly for the songs to begin.)

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KEZA: (Clears her throat) Ok guys… Ready? One, two… a one two three four…

**__**

ALL: On the first day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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KEZA: Pie-eater shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the second day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA: Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the third day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA: Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the fourth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: One the fifth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the sixth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the seventh day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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AKI: Swifty running swiftly!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the eighth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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FICTIONHOBBIT: Eight new slash pairings!

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AKI: Swifty running swiftly!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: One the ninth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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CARDS: Dutchy-and-Specs-dancing!

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FICTIONHOBBIT: Eight new slash pairings!

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AKI: Swifty running swiftly!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the tenth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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TIGER/CHELCI: Ten Blinks a' smokin'! (Oh boy!)

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CARDS: Dutchy-and-Specs-dancing!

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FICTIONHOBBIT: Eight new slash pairings!

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AKI: Swifty running swiftly!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the eleventh day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me!

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ALI: Eleven cuh-ut scenes!

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TIGER/CHELCI: Ten Blinks a' smokin'! (Oh boy!)

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CARDS: Dutchy-and-Specs-dancing!

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FICTIONHOBBIT: Eight new slash pairings!

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AKI: Swifty running swiftly!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ah-nd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

**__**

ALL: On the twelfth day of Christmas, Ortega gave to me! 

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SARAH: Twelve ticks to New-Mex!

**__**

ALL: (Complete silence. Everyone turns to Sarah with looks of disgust.)

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KEZA: What? _I_ didn't invite her!

(Falco parts from the group and pulls Sarah away. A muffled crash is heard, then Falco returns, dusting off her hands and smiling innocently. The carolers turn back to the crowd at the door and launch right back into the song.)

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ALI: Eleven cuh-ut scenes!

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TIGER/CHELCI: Ten Blinks a' smokin'! (Oh boy!)

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CARDS: Dutchy-and-Specs-dancing!

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FICTIONHOBBIT: Eight new slash pairings!

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AKI: Swifty running swiftly!

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MONDIE/SHORTIE: Six of Mush's ah-abs!

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FALCO: SPOOOOOT SLINGING STOOONNNES! 

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POLECAT: Four Newsie vamps!

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THUMBSUCKERSNITCH: Three slash muses!

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OMNI/MISPRINT: Racetrack betting double!

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KEZA_:_ Ahhhhhhhhh-nnnnnnnnnd Pie shouting YIP-EEE!

(Everyone bows, but when they stand tall, they find themselves facing a closed door. None seemed surprised, however.)

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CARDS: Next house?


End file.
